Cooking with Emily

Last night I decided to cook. This is something I hardly ever do anymore. On occasion I make an omelet on a Saturday morning, but I'm pretty much in a microwave rut. I had found a recipe last month for sweet potato soup that looked tempting, so I saw it as an opportunity. The following is a step-by-step guide for you to follow if you feel like duplicating my experience.

Step one: Look at the recipe to figure out what you need to buy. This was pretty easy. I basically just needed to pick up the potatoes, celery, and apple. (We have plenty of apples at the house, but we didn't have the specified type, and I wanted to follow the recipe to the t.)

Step two: Start heating the sweet potatoes in the oven as you prepare the rest of the ingredients. This is where it became a little tricky. The potatoes weren't a problem, but upon looking at the recipe closer, I saw it asked for a stalk of celery. I originally thought a stalk was one singular branch or stick you pull off of the whole bunch, but when asking my mom for clarification, she said to use the whole bunch. At the time it didn't occur to me to seek further clarification online. So I dutifully cut up a ridiculous amount of celery, along with a Granny Smith apple and an onion.

After looking at a large saucepan exploding with celery, I rethought what I was doing. It didn't look right. And besides, the recipe I was making was called "Roasted Sweet Potato and Apple Soup," not "Roasted Sweet Potato and a %$@# Load of Celery." I decided to take out a sizable amount of celery before adding the partially baked sweet potatoes, but there was still about half to two-thirds of the original amount left.

Step three: Add the sweet potatoes and water, continuing to heat. Easiest step. Anytime I get to smell sweet potatoes and sneak some is good. And scooping their insides out of the skin was easier than I thought it would be.

Step four: Blend. I used my cheap handheld blender, which I bought in the spring for fruit smoothies. It blended well, except for spraying the hot liquid all over the counter, my shirt, my arms, and my face. After a while I developed a technique that proved less hazardous.

Step five: Taste. I took a bite. It tasted okay, but the celery was overpowering. The whole point was to have sweet potato soup, not celery soup with some sweet potatoes added in. The sweet potato coloring was there, as well as some of the texture, but I basically made "Celery Soup (w/ a little sweet potato)." Mom had a whole bowl before going to bed and said it was good.

Step six: Clean up and sit back. I gave the recipe another lookover and noticed it claimed to take one hour, start to finish. Nope. It was definitely over two hours. But next time, with the new knowledge of what a "stalk" is, I should do better.

Note to Self No. 32

When a friend gives you advice, listen to it. (And that means all of it, not just part of it.)

This weekend I tried something new... tanning. This wasn't for vanity's sake, at least that's what I'd like to think. This was for the sake of my bridesmaid dress. I had developed a slight farmer's tan over the summer and thought a little tanning bed action might help me out. Upon hearing of my plans, a friend or two cautioned me to only go a few minutes. I agreed with them, but when it came down to it, I added a few more minutes.

The ten on Friday were okay; part of me only became slightly pink. After a couple days, I decided to up my time to 15 minutes on Sunday. I followed this with my usual Sunday afternoon nap, after which, I awoke to slight stiffness. As the evening wore on, my shades of pink quickly darkened to [wait for it] red. So my tanning escapades have probably come to an end.

As I moved around last night and today, I remembered scenes from the I Love Lucy episode where Lucy gets burnt to a crisp. And I definitely had a moment last night in which I could have sworn I was going to lose my supper. But my usual routine, which includes immediately sipping cool water, quickly subdued the situation.

However, the tanning hasn't made things much worse. I think it did even out my previous tan lines a little, and most of the red will be covered by the dress. And there's still several days for it to significantly fade.

Now if I only had a few bruises, my patriotic look would be complete.

Poor Judgement

The other day while I was working on something for my class, I thought I had a really funny thought to post on my blog. So last night I looked at the note I had jotted down, with the intention of posting it here. Upon looking at it, I decided that, in some circumstances, my judgement is poor. My hilarious thought was quite dull. Very boring. So boring that it would almost be embarrassing to post it. And yet I'll still post it so you can laugh at how boring it is. Are you ready?

A couple days ago, as I was furiously working away at a paper, I felt like my brain had momentarily frozen up. So I exclaimed aloud, "Brain! Function!"

That's it.

International Accounting

Last week was the start of the second summer session at IUSB. For it, I'm taking International Accounting, a required course that explores differences in accounting standards throughout the world.

Last night at the end of class, our professor informed us of our group project, including the groups to which we were assigned. Ours met briefly to divide up tasks and figure out when we would meet again for further discussion. This is where things became complicated.

We decided somewhat quickly on the date and time: Saturday afternoon. But with it being summer, we were less certain of the on-campus buildings that would be available to us. One was suggested that the others thought would work, but I was unfamiliar with its location.

The guys in our group attempted to help me. Alan tried explaining its location while Vince drew a cute little map. After I took the map and looked at it a while, Alan asked me if it helped at all. I looked up, smiled, and he replied, "I guess not." Our solution? Decide on a different location.

Chocolate Messages

I eat a piece of Dove chocolate every weekday after I finish my lunch. Each piece is individually wrapped in foil with a message printed on the inside. They say things like, "Go to your special place," and "Definitely a bubble bath day." Most of the time I don't like what they say.

At first I thought I could come up with some good ones, but then I felt stumped. All I came up with was, "I don't know." Really catchy (although it seems to be the theme of my life). So I was thinking that maybe wonderful people such as yourselves would be able to come up with better ideas for the messages.

First off, what types of messages should be used? Stick with the same basic idea of nice, fuzzy thoughts, but upgrade them a bit? Or what about messages that a magic eight ball might provide? Insults? Quotes from movies?

What would make really good messages for someone reaching for that necessary piece of afternoon chocolate?

Yet Again...

Yet again I find myself living apart from God. When will I learn?

The Ideal Ideal-Cut Diamond

I've been hearing an ad for the ideal ideal-cut diamond that can only be found at Jared, The Galleria of Jewelry of the "He went to Jared!" and "It can only be Jared!" fame. These ads are causing me to think. If an ideal ideal-cut diamond is better than just an ideal-cut diamond, then wouldn't an ideal ideal ideal-cut diamond be even better? And hold it right there! An ideal ideal ideal ideal-cut diamond would kick the ideal ideal ideal-cut diamond's you-know-what!

Imagine a man on one knee looking up at his girlfriend. He just popped the question and is holding out an opened box with a ring in it. The box's lid clearly states "Jared, the Galleria of Jewelry," but the girlfriend isn't fooled. She exclaims, "This isn't the ideal ideal ideal ideal-cut diamond. It's only the ideal ideal ideal-cut. I only want the best! It's just not... ideal enough!"

Ctrl Z

A few days ago I erased some penciled notes only to wish I hadn't the second I finished. My immediate thought was to hit "Ctrl" "Z." But wait! I can only do that on the computer! Rrggh! I think I need to add some functions to my current list of capabilities. Any knowledgeable surgeon-programmers out there?

Deadbolt Blues

Well, it's happened. My parents changed the locks on me. They got a new deadbolt since the old one was being testy. But my mom was nice enough to tell me to just ring the doorbell when I get home, instead of trying my key for who knows how long before I realize it doesn't work.

This brings to mind some childhood memories of getting locked out of the house. I'd walk home from elementary school but couldn't get inside. I don't remember if it was because I forgot my key (a likely possibility considering who we're talking about), or because it was the middle of the winter and the lock refused to take my key. I think the latter was the case at least a few times, because I remember shivering in the cold, waiting for my mom to get home.

Later on in my childhood, when it was both my brother and me, we got a little wiser and would crawl in through a window. With age comes wisdom... hopefully.

2 > 1

For a couple of months now I've had two computer screens at work. When I first found out my boss was buying a second one for me, I thought the second would be unnecessary and annoying. But within little time I have come to love my new setup. Here's why.

1) It allows me to look at two different things at the same time. This leads to less time switching between screens (and also less frustration due to memory loss of what I was just looking at.)

2) It automatically makes me look more technologically savvy. Always a good thing.

3) Why have one of something when you can have more?

However, there is one main drawback. If I have the urge to glance out of the window, I cannot see everything, for my second monitor blocks part of the view. I have to move from my slightly slouched position to an upright and slightly out-of-chair position to see. But my three reasons for far outweigh my one reason against.

This Just In!

I woke up happy this morning. This never happens. Most days I will eventually get in a decent mood, but since I don't consider myself a morning person, the first thoughts in my mind when slowly drifting into consciousness aren't normally positive.

I will blame this unusual occurence on one thing: prayer. I went to bed praying last night. I even fell asleep praying. My requests included that God bless my sleep, my night, and my morning. I prayed for peace and joy. And, oh my goodness, I think I got it! I just find this encouraging and had to share...

Money: What a Wonderful Word

My mom was telling me yesterday that I should save for the long-term as much as I give. My first thought was, "Whatever. I already save." But after her words settled a little more, I think I agree with her.

So... I'm vamping up my saving. And in order to do that I need to keep a closer watch on where my money is going. I know that generally school, gas, food and the like nibble away at my paycheck, but I need to be able to sit down and say, "Ohhhh. I'm spending too much on _____. I need to cut down on that next month."

I'd like to think that I have good spending habits, but it seems that I'd have more set aside right now if I was really doing a good job.

My 10-Key

Here's a picture of my 10-key at work. Just because.

I like it, but I think there could be improvements on the design if we were going for a sleeker, more stylish look...

Hot Objects = Bad

The hair straightener is for what? My hair. That's right. Don't get it near my actual face. Can I do that?

I look like I have a permanent pillow wrinkle on the side of my face. From my past experience, it will probably stay with me for at least a few days, possibly a week.

Put another tally mark under "Emily messups" for the week.

Alter Ego

I've been thinking recently. (gasp) I should have an alter ego. Maybe something of a superhero, but not necessarily. Whoever or whatever it is, it has to be at least a little more interesting/cool/whatever than I currently am. So while I let ideas bounce around in my head, does anyone already have an alter ego that you wouldn't mind sharing?

Emily-Speak

I think my mind and my mouth operate on separate levels. There's probably a snag in the connection somewhere, because I keep creating new words. Maybe I'm a character in a sci-fi in which my programming has malfunctioned... Or was I programmed this way?

In elementary school I started to notice this "gift." It would show in switching what already exists. Like dipasear instead of disappear. Or deepin' breathly instead of breathing deeply. (Doing math at this time was tricky. 56 would become 65, etc.)

Now it's more of combining words or thoughts. Today, instead of saying inanimate object, I said inadjimate. And instead of pitiful or little, I said plitiful. I guess such vocabulary could be a time-saver while increasing the description. But doesn't it taint words and their meanings?

I dare anyone to converse with me and walk away understanding everything I've said (or what I meant to say). Maybe I need to compile an Emily-speak dictionary for anyone who comes upon me...

Me: Gobble-de-gook de blah blah!
Person: Huh?
(I point to dictionary tied to my neck. Person looks up above Emily-speak.)
Person: Ah! I never thought of it that way!

Add Spice to Your Day!

I never cease to amaze myself. I am brilliant! Let me expound...

Most people (ordinary people) think that a good day involves the usual: get up, go to work, come home, do a few other activities (maybe go to class), and go to bed. That's okay. That's ordinary. But that's not good enough for me. I need to add a little spice to my day. I need to lock my keys in my car. Yes, you read me right: lock your keys in your car to add spice to your day. It completely changes the feel.

Instead of exiting your evening class at 9:40 p.m. and going straight home, you need to dig around your bag for a full three minutes to realize that your keys are not buried underneath your auditing book or umbrella. Then you need to go to your car, hoping against hope that for some reason the car is unlocked (even though you vividly remember locking it--someone could steal something!) You need to unsuccessfully open your car door and then look longingly at the keys sitting on your seat. Proceed back inside, find a nice janitor who is willing to let you borrow his cell phone, call your parents (like a lost little girl--see a theme?)...

So here I am at a computer at IUSB while I'm waiting for my parents (not one, but both of them) to get here for the sole purpose of unlocking my car door. Then they get to go back home. With all of this, it will take up 2.5 hrs of my parents' time. 5.0 hrs if you add up each of their 2.5 hrs. That makes me feel... Not good. I apologized a few times on the phone to my parents, but somehow, that doesn't seem to cancel out my absentmindedness. Alzheimers, here I come!

But the plus side is, I get to add a new adventure to my IUSB experience!

Queen of Waterspilling

I am the Queen of Waterspilling. Bow down and behold my clutziness.

When God created me, he gave me a special power. Nothing great like spidey-sense or the ability to fly. No, that would be too useful. I can spill a mug of water multiple times in one day without even trying! And in completely different ways, too!

I can spill it while pouring it into my mug. I can spill it walking up some steps. I can spill it when picking the mug up, setting it down, or bringing it to my mouth. I can spill it standing up, sitting down, or leaning against a wall. I can spill it intense in thought or void of any brainwaves. I can spill it alone or while someone is watching me.

The point is, if you need water spilled, I'm the girl to call. No job is too great or small. I handle them all!

Proper Deer Avoidance Procedure

I stand corrected! I did not follow proper deer avoidance procedure on Monday. I got my dad's squirrel hitting tips mixed up with deer avoidance. Do not break for small to medium size critters. What are they going to do to you?

The first and most important action in avoiding a deer is not swerving, just as I thought. However, it is good to break. Assuming you're not being tailgated, it sounds like "you should hit the brakes up until the very last second of impact; suddenly releasing the brakes will send the deer propelling into the roadway rather than into your windshield." This makes sense to me. It also makes me smile. "Take that!"

Next time a deer is in my way, watch out! It won't even touch me.

See other tips at http://thefuntimesguide.com/2005/10/how_to_avoid_hi.php.

Envious Thoughts

I have realized that I don't have enough envy in my life. The meter's pointing to medium and I need to get it back up to HIGH immediately! Now... What should I focus my envious thoughts on? A new wardrobe? A more comprehensive music library? How about a new car! All shiny and new... yeah. Maybe in 2009.

If you care at all about what my envious thoughts should be focused on, take part in my survey. Vote as often as you like!