Note to Self No. 32

When a friend gives you advice, listen to it. (And that means all of it, not just part of it.)

This weekend I tried something new... tanning. This wasn't for vanity's sake, at least that's what I'd like to think. This was for the sake of my bridesmaid dress. I had developed a slight farmer's tan over the summer and thought a little tanning bed action might help me out. Upon hearing of my plans, a friend or two cautioned me to only go a few minutes. I agreed with them, but when it came down to it, I added a few more minutes.

The ten on Friday were okay; part of me only became slightly pink. After a couple days, I decided to up my time to 15 minutes on Sunday. I followed this with my usual Sunday afternoon nap, after which, I awoke to slight stiffness. As the evening wore on, my shades of pink quickly darkened to [wait for it] red. So my tanning escapades have probably come to an end.

As I moved around last night and today, I remembered scenes from the I Love Lucy episode where Lucy gets burnt to a crisp. And I definitely had a moment last night in which I could have sworn I was going to lose my supper. But my usual routine, which includes immediately sipping cool water, quickly subdued the situation.

However, the tanning hasn't made things much worse. I think it did even out my previous tan lines a little, and most of the red will be covered by the dress. And there's still several days for it to significantly fade.

Now if I only had a few bruises, my patriotic look would be complete.

Deadbolt Blues

Well, it's happened. My parents changed the locks on me. They got a new deadbolt since the old one was being testy. But my mom was nice enough to tell me to just ring the doorbell when I get home, instead of trying my key for who knows how long before I realize it doesn't work.

This brings to mind some childhood memories of getting locked out of the house. I'd walk home from elementary school but couldn't get inside. I don't remember if it was because I forgot my key (a likely possibility considering who we're talking about), or because it was the middle of the winter and the lock refused to take my key. I think the latter was the case at least a few times, because I remember shivering in the cold, waiting for my mom to get home.

Later on in my childhood, when it was both my brother and me, we got a little wiser and would crawl in through a window. With age comes wisdom... hopefully.

Grocery Shopping

A week ago Sunday I went to the grocery store. If that's all that happened, I wouldn't have much of a story. But as I parked and walked inside, I noticed something: one of the few cars in the parking lot looked familiar... too familiar. After grabbing a cart I immediately started scanning for someone, and I found him. Ken was just inside the entrance glancing at a magazine. Of course I had to spout some unintelligible mess about us being there at the same time.

And so the two of us proceeded down the cereal aisle, the coffee/tea aisle, the frozen food aisle, etc. Each of us studied the other's picks, questioning when surprised by a choice. For instance, when we passed the boxes and boxes of tea, Ken wondered why I hardly glanced at them. I explained that I tend to buy a bunch of tea at the same time and store it at the house, taking a few out each time I run out of my current selection. Since I still had several unopened boxes at home, I didn't need to buy anymore just yet.

After gathering all of our items, we checked out... self-checkout style. Arriving at the same time gave us a chance to race each other. (I was racing him, but I don't think he cared.) Even though I had several more items than Ken, I still won by a few seconds. He claimed his slow time was greatly affected by the fact that some of his lighter items were not recognized as being "placed in the bag." Excuses, excuses.

What might this occurrence prove? That Warsaw is a small town? That Ken and I think alike? Or did this prove nothing?

TurboNote Gods

A Mr. Jonathan Erdman requested I blog about a work occurance. I deliberated, thinking the occurance quite bland and uninteresting. But then I thought, Hey, so's everything else, so...

There's a program we use at work called TurboNote. It's basically a way of instant messaging someone through their computer in our office. Don't feel like getting up to tell your boss something? Send him a TurboNote! You can also set one to pop up at certain times for a reminder or just use them to store information that you'll want to look up later. It's a very handy system... if it works.

If it doesn't work, you can go crazy. From Tuesday of last week through Monday of this week my TurboNotes just refused to show up three different times. Three times! A few measly ones hung around, but the others were BLANK. Nothing on them. It's not an "Oh my goodness the world just ended and I'm left behind" situation, because there's the option of restoring them and then deleting the extra blank notes that are left. This works okay. But doing this three different times in less than one week is frustrating. Especially when you tend to keep over 100 notes around on your computer.

So now I am trying to remember to close out of the program before I restart my computer or leave it alone for the night/weekend, hoping this appeases the TurboNote gods. And I'm making Jon do the same.

For those of you who don't know, Jon and I used to work together. He left, but has returned to plug in some time during the annual festival called "tax season." The times he comes in are when I'm already gone, so he gets to use my computer. His help is much appreciated!

Computer Troubles

I got in an argument with my computer today. It would have been okay if the argument lasted a couple minutes, but it lasted a large part of the day. It went something like this…

Me: Okay, let’s get some work done. I’m clicking on this, now open.
Computer: That’s what you want to do? I’ll pretend that I’m starting to open, but I’ll just take my time.
Me: What’s with you? Maybe I need to get rid of a virus or something. I’ll just pop this anti-virus software in, let it do its thing and get back to work. So there.
Computer: If you say so.

Later…
Me: Oh, you stupid thing. You’re getting slow again.
Computer: Fooled ya!
Me: Fine, I’ll restart you. Can’t argue with me now!
Computer: No, not that! (with a sarcastically evil laugh)

Still later…
Me: You’re still as slow as ever! Even slower actually!!!
Computer: All will be mine!!! First I will gain full control over every computer in Warsaw. Then Indiana! And eventually the world!!! Hahaha!!!

Me again. So I felt like doing something very mean to my computer today. Maybe tomorrow I (or my boss) can figure it out. The thing is, my computer and I are normally best buds… It plays me my music, lets me check my email and the blogs of all you wonderful people, and especially lets me get work done. Sniff. I need a new best bud.

Ice Skating

Ken and I went ice skating on Saturday. Overall it was a good experience, but now I'm sore from slamming into the ice. Amazingly I didn't fall more than I did. (The counter stopped at 3.5 falls--the half representing my ability to catch myself on the wall.) And the only people to see me fall were Ken and a bunch of strangers.

I have the opinion that if you have to make a fool of yourself, it's best to do it in front of close friends and family or strangers. Your friends and family already know you're strange, so why would you care if they witness one more unflattering thing. And strangers will probably never see you again, so you're covered there. But don't cause yourself embarrassment in front of acquaintances. They know you enough to recognize you again, but they don't know you enough to hardly care what you do.

You're How Old?

I recently ran into a couple who used to attend my family's church. All was well until the husband asked for my age. I wanted to say 24 but didn't think that was right. So I stopped and thought for a moment before correctly telling them 23. My drawn-out pause caused the wife to think that I didn't want to reveal my age. (Who cares when you're only in your twenties.) If they knew the real reason, they might wonder about me...

Familiar Face

I ran into an acquaintance from high school last night. We said "hey" and talked for a couple of minutes. When we went our separate ways, I felt like I had just caught up with an old friend. However, I don't remember us ever talking to each other back in the day. I knew who he was and he must have known who I was, but that was it... Maybe it's just the nicety of seeing a familiar face, someone with whom you share a connection, however small.

Remember the Days When...

• You tried to make cream of wheat all by yourself, but find that it is still too difficult for you. (The proportions got reversed and it became rock of wheat.)
• You got in trouble with your mom for saying, "Crap!"
• You were sent to your room for throwing pizza at your little brother. (He made you angry, so you threw at him what was in front of you... The sauce got in his eyes and he cried like a baby.)
• You wanted a U2 cd for your birthday, but your mom didn't approve. (He called Sunday "bloody!" It's a holy day!)
• You couldn't wait to grow up so you could have your own place with your own rules.

Life Is Funny

It seems there's no winning...

Say I am faced with an opportunity to do something good, to help someone. If I don't do that good thing, I will most likely feel guilty afterward and beat myself up about it for a while. If I actually do that something to some extent, even if it is something very small, I get all bloated with pride... And then I beat myself up about it.

Maybe it takes lots of prayer and a little growth.

Baby Shower

I went to the baby shower yesterday afternoon. It was good to see some people I hadn't seen in a while. One of my friends who put it on is also expecting. Crazy. I don't want to even imagine having kids right now.
While there, we played some baby shower games. And I won a prize! You will all be proud to know I have honed my scent-recognition skills to the point where I can kind of tell what baby food I am smelling if it isn't labeled. Who knows if it will actually come in handy.

"Sunday" Post

Can't sleep. So I'm getting my Sunday post out of the way.

Today was good. Today was really good.

Baby shower tomorrow for someone I graduated with in high school.

Say It in English!

In Pre-K, we have the kids memorize a verse. It's normally a very short verse, and a lot of the time it involves them just repeating after the teacher.

Recently, we have been saying the verses in different voices. We'll say it in a normal voice, a squeaky voice, a deep voice, and any other voice the kids come up with. This Sunday, one of them insisted on saying it in English. The teacher kept telling him that we already were saying it in English, but he didn't seem to get it. Maybe he was thinking of an English accent?

I Don't Know

Warning: If you talk to me, be prepared to be frustrated or annoyed. I cannot guarantee it, but it's a likely possibility.

I might say, "I don't know," multiple times when trying to express myself. The sad thing is, this is my best attempt.

My brother and I get along pretty well, but on occasion it becomes obvious that he finds his communication skills superior to mine. I have to just shut my mouth sometimes, because I know what I have to say (or not say) will annoy the heck out of him. Due to my somewhat recent considerations for my brother, he has called me his self-censoring sister.

Halloween

I am the designated candy-passer-outer at my house. If I didn't do it, it wouldn't get done, so I feel the need to step up and fill this vital role.

After two hours and 135 visitors, I felt like a broken record. "Hey! Here you go! You're welcome!" On occasion I got to say, "You okay?" if one of the little ones fell over on our step.

The number of visitors this year is probably close to what we had last year. But for some reason, I prepared for 210 visitors... so we've got some leftover candy.

Dad suggested saving it for next year. Yeah, right. Even if every single piece of candy is something I can't stand, if it is in the house, it will find a way to disappear. Luckily, I had the sense to buy things I like to some degree. The chocolates will be the first to vanish. The hard candies will eventually follow, but only after some time has passed.

Maybe I'll prepare for around 150 next year. No more than 175! Or, how about as the evening progresses, I give out more than just 3 pieces per child, as I see fit? This last option is probably the most commonsensical, so therefore I must ignore it.

"And what were your favorite costumes that you saw?" you might ask. "Why, the superhero costumes, of course!" I would reply.

Pre-K Joys

Most know me as Emily. But to some, I am Miss Emily...

Sometimes I help out in a Pre-K Sunday School class. All the kids have their own ways of being cute. Some have ways of trying to be in charge.

One of the kids has recently found the need to refuse washing his hands after using the boys' room. As I stand guard in the doorway, he starts exiting. I ask, "Did you wash your hands?" and position myself to block him from exiting the premises. He replies with "Yes!" I quickly respond with the grown up "I didn't hear any water. Let's wash your hands." I attempt to guide him to the sink at which point the boy insists I am trying to hurt him and exclaims, "I'm going to tell my mom!" I quickly proclaim, "Go ahead. Tell your mom I'm trying to get you to wash your hands." The joys of being a grown up.

We have a little singing segment during the morning, too. Without fail, every time the teacher asks them what song they want to sing, many of them insist on The B-I-B-L-E. We'll sing it a few times. Then we'll ask them what other song they want to sing. Guess what they all agree on? The B-I-B-L-E! This happens almost every Sunday.

I guess I'm not much better. At work I'll listen to the same cd or song multiple times in a row. But they last longer than just 20 seconds.

Lessons in Speaking

I could benefit from thinking before speaking. This doesn't negatively affect me all the time, but on occasion I feel less than tactful.

I was talking with someone this week who is old enough to be my mom, but not much older than that general age range. So she's really not old. But she was telling me how she received the oldest female participant award for a walk/run type event. She acted as if it wasn't anything, but me, trying to be nice, started to say, "No! That means you're still..." I was cut short by her laughter and me biting my tongue.

And sometimes, when trying to be tactful/nice/say anything at all, I end up saying words that when strung together make no sense or cancel out each other's meanings.

Or even better... I'll be talking with someone, taking a certain viewpoint, but by the end of the conversation, I might be making statements that are in conflict with my previous viewpoint, without realizing that I've done anything strange.

Is anyone offering free lessons in everyday speech for the tactfully- and rationally-impaired?

Add Spice to Your Day!

I never cease to amaze myself. I am brilliant! Let me expound...

Most people (ordinary people) think that a good day involves the usual: get up, go to work, come home, do a few other activities (maybe go to class), and go to bed. That's okay. That's ordinary. But that's not good enough for me. I need to add a little spice to my day. I need to lock my keys in my car. Yes, you read me right: lock your keys in your car to add spice to your day. It completely changes the feel.

Instead of exiting your evening class at 9:40 p.m. and going straight home, you need to dig around your bag for a full three minutes to realize that your keys are not buried underneath your auditing book or umbrella. Then you need to go to your car, hoping against hope that for some reason the car is unlocked (even though you vividly remember locking it--someone could steal something!) You need to unsuccessfully open your car door and then look longingly at the keys sitting on your seat. Proceed back inside, find a nice janitor who is willing to let you borrow his cell phone, call your parents (like a lost little girl--see a theme?)...

So here I am at a computer at IUSB while I'm waiting for my parents (not one, but both of them) to get here for the sole purpose of unlocking my car door. Then they get to go back home. With all of this, it will take up 2.5 hrs of my parents' time. 5.0 hrs if you add up each of their 2.5 hrs. That makes me feel... Not good. I apologized a few times on the phone to my parents, but somehow, that doesn't seem to cancel out my absentmindedness. Alzheimers, here I come!

But the plus side is, I get to add a new adventure to my IUSB experience!

Arby's

Yesterday on my way to class I broke down... I got fast food. As I was approaching the Arby's at an intersection, my steering wheel mysteriously turned. Instead of going straight, I pulled into the parking lot and walked inside.

Immediately I felt out-of-place. The clientele at the particular Arby's/gas station/truck stop were all male and had at least one of the following: stubble/a scruffy beard, a tattoo(s), and roughed-up clothing. I think most had all three. Everyone stared at me like I was a lost little girl. But they all had pleasant looks on their faces, so I wasn't freaked out. (After all, no one was winking at me.) ;)

While scarfing down an Arby's roast beef sandwich with 2/3 of a packet of Arby's sauce in my car before continuing on my journey, I felt like a pig. Scarf, scarf! I don't do this all the time, I told myself. And so it begins...